One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jersey Shore

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

thumb_up thumb_down +1

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops