What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops