Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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