whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

thumb_up thumb_down +50

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

thumb_up thumb_down +46

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A guy trips a blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops