what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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This is a joke

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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