why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best joke in the world? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops