Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Cleveland winning something

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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