I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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