lol

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Fags are gay.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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