What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +180

Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops