I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

thumb_up thumb_down -164

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +213

666

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -15

69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the square root of four? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

thumb_up thumb_down -88

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops