What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops