What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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Why did the book disappear?

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Christians pornstars.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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