An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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69

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

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Why was there a black guy in the back of a police car? He was caught stealing

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I would rape her

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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