Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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You have cancer

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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shea kisses a girl

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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ass in my face ? no

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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your mum

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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