Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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i dont like attention whores lol

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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I THINK I SEE BIGFOOT O is yo mom!! -____-

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What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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WHAT????

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops