obama leadership

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Like why period? Why can't mother nature just call and be like ''Wassup girl? You're not pregnant, I'll talk to you next month.''

thumb_up thumb_down +20

0 + 0 = 0

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Keep up the fun Nero!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you know whats funny the letter Q

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

She said no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops