Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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