What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Take off your shoes.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops