What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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