A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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