Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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