" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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DESERT

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Women's rights.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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