why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Take off your shoes.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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vaginas

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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