Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops