Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a group of people who are systematiclly ruining a once well run family football club? steve kean , the venkys, and there advisors

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Cleveland winning something

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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