Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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25

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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