Today is May 18 2016.

Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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