Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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