Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Good luck on your finals everyone!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Take off your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops