If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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