Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you don't see any banners here, it doesn't mean they aren't here.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I saw a poor man named rich

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops