Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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We are lawyers

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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do you want to hear a joke?

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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