Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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