How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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