whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops