How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

Why did the 16 yearold pregnant girl cross the road? To get to the abortion center

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

roses are red violets are blue im in class

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...