What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Minecraft.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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