What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Your mom is fat

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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