- Anti Joke

What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

my name is Jacob sartorious

Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......LEAVES ROOM..... (HOUR LATER)COMES BACK IN THE ROOM "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops