why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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your mum

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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