uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

thumb_up thumb_down +1

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Thumbs this down

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops