BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

YOLO.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I hate long jokes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops