Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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