What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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banana

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Poop

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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