What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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Fags are gay.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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