Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops