Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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all these jokes suck ass

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Needless to say,

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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69

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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