What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops