Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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colby doesnt shave

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Im cute hehehee

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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