What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

knock knock go away

Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

thermodynamics?

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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