Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Robin, get in the batmobile.

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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